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Thursday, March 27, 2014

You can put the blame on single women

As girls, most women will remember they pay some time thinking about their special wedding day. Over the years, the thought process went further. They start thinking the event itself, the wedding dress(e)s, the groom, the house, the number of children. Clearly, this is no secret. Most women have planned their wedding day years in advance. 

You can put the blame of single women (Photo: Freedigitalphotos.net)

Some women will get married before the age of 30 but for others, the waiting time is taking longer than expected. This was the case of Paula Schargorosky, an Argentine woman who made the popular documentary about being 35 and single. She did a good job explaining the social stigma that a single woman may face. Some single women from other parts of the world could relate to Schargorosky's story. Unfortunately, the social stigma can also be found within the Church, where everyone is supposedly  a family, brothers and sisters in Christ.

For most believers, their worship place is a safe environment to connect with others, to share their gifts or simply being appreciated for who they are. The same is true for single people, men or women. For older believers who are singles, their marital status will generally put them in the minority because most of their connections will be married and/or with children. Despite their best intentions, their friendliness could  be misinterpreted by their married connections. 

This creates a sense of isolation that is often overlooked by the leadership. On top of this, most spiritual needs and sermons are too often centered around marriages, children and families. The lucky ones will have a special department dedicated to singles only. 

The situation can be more challenging for single women who are often seen as 'threats' by their Christian sisters and brothers. Some Christian leaders -who won't be mentioned here, took the war on themselves by providing insightful advice online on how to handle the 'friendliness' of single women. Others have provided tips on how married men should behave around single women.  As if these Christian leaders were always married to their spouses.

Whether she is Christian or not, a single woman could experience some level of social stigma. This may vary depending on her age, her level of education or the country she resides. Moreover, the social stigma is heavier  to carry when she has to deal with rejection from the body of Christ, particularly from her very own sisters in Christ. 

This issue needs to be addressed because if some Church leaders are comfortable sharing advice online  that portrays single women, daughters of the Most High, as threats. This will have a devastating effect not only on their spiritual walk and their well-being but also on the Church herself. 

Certainly, married couples must protect their holy covenant. But please, let us not discriminate or bash single women publicly or privately in the name of protecting marriages.